For Men: How To Behave On Your First Date

By Penny S. Harmon

Once you've gotten up the nerve to ask a woman out on a date, what is the first thing you do? Some men don't put a lot of thought into it. They go with the flow. They don't plan anything too special-just figure what will happen, will happen. But here's the thing: your first date should be carefully planned out. However, don't go overboard or your date will expect it all of the time.

For example, you plan a nice romantic evening. You start out by picking her up in a nice, borrowed vehicle. You bring her roses and tell her she looks beautiful. You then take her to a nice restaurant where you both enjoy a bottle of fine wine and a five-course meal. Once you finish, you take her out dancing and have a wonderful time. When the evening is over, you walk her to the door and give her a long kiss goodnight. You can't wait to see her again and she, at this time, is falling instantly in love with you. But is this the real you?

One of the many mistakes men make is going way overboard on the first date. Once the first date is over and you've got her hooked, your next date is the local pizza joint and you get her there in your old, beat-up pickup truck. She, of course, if very disappointed, but can you blame her?

The key to the first date is to do something simple and yet, something that allows her to see the real you. If you're the type of man that likes sports, take her to a ballgame and out to pizza afterwards. If she likes it-wonderful. If she doesn't, she's not for you. If you are into going out to dinner at a fancy restaurant and dancing all of the time, then go for the gold on your first date. But don't set her up for disappointment when you don't enjoy doing it all of the time. The nice restaurant and dancing should come later, after you've had a chance to get to know each other. Save the five-course meal and fine wine for a special occasion.

The date should be planned, but not to perfection. Generally, when on a first date, most women simply want to get to know you better. What they want to do is a four-letter word, but not the one you think. They want to TALK. This is how women get to know you better so be prepared. Of course she'll want to ask you questions about yourself, your family, what you like, and how you feel about certain things. The key is to be prepared for these, but be truthful. When planning your first date, find something to do where you can talk, but not so quiet that there will be uncomfortable silences. A movie is good, as long as you have time before or after to talk.

Men should also be careful on how they come across to a woman on the first date. The key is simply being yourself. If she's talking the opera and you don't like them, be up front about it. Otherwise, if you get too involved, she'll expect you to do things you don't want to do. If, you're on your first date with a woman and you absolutely see her interest in you is zilch, there is nothing wrong by ending it early. Be up front about it, though. Ask her straight out if she has any interest in you and if not, you would be willing to take her home early. Most women will appreciate your honesty. By dragging things out, you only stand the chance of pretending to be something you're not in order to gain her interest. Remember, not every date will be interested in you and vice versa. The main thing is to recognize it when it is happening. Another thing-if she's interested and you're not, don't tell her you'll call her when you know you won't. Be up front about it.

Okay, you've had your first date and it's time to end the evening. You've had a wonderful time and you feel you've both really connected. You want to see her again. What's the best way to handle this? Before you tell her goodnight, ask her if you can see her again. If she says yes, great. If not, oh well. Don't push her into saying yes or you'll only end up wasting your time and money trying to win her over. Nine times out of ten, it doesn't work. So, the main thing to do on you're first date is to plan it out so you can have a chance to get to know each other and don't go overboard on the romance unless it's the real you. Have fun with getting to know her and you might be surprised at the outcome.